There are many men around, but a few qualities will set you apart in the mind of ladies.
The $500 bling on your neck would not stand you out in the mind of an ideal lady who is of age and on the lookout for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage.
I never thought I could win her heart.
11 months ago, I asked a girl out. I saw her in the church in a Sunday service.
She was the lead singer of the choir ministration on that fateful day.
I couldn’t get my eyes off her. She met all my criteria for a life partner.
Her voice was the sweetest I have heard. She was slim and tall; pretty and chocolate in complexion. She met over 80% of what I desire in a lady.
I couldn’t get her out of my mind even after the service. I was in love.
I asked my younger, who was a fellow chorister with her, and gave her a phone call that evening.
Soon after, we became friends. And five months after, we started dating.
But I never thought we would say yes to me. And win her heart.
She was the finest girl in the area. And some of the big boys around with a lot of money, tattoo, dreadlocks, and cars wanted her, too.
At first, I thought she was already in a relationship. I later knew she wasn't during our brief period of friendship.
I was the first guy she was dating.
It came as a surprise to me.
Where I came from, most ladies see beauty as a criterion for being a flirt. But not her.
Having lived for years in one of the most affluent cities in Nigeria could have been another reason to hook up with the big boys with tattoos, dreadlocks, and cars. But... she didn’t.
After several months of dating, I finally came to understand a few things she probably considered that made her say yes to me among other guys on her toaster’s list.
Certain qualities stood me out, and right now I want to talk to you a few. Not just from my relationship, but also from some other relationships I am very familiar with.
I call them the irresistible qualities that stand a man out in the mind of a lady. Here are four of them:
1. They are calm and collected.
I got this success principle from Derek Halpern several years ago.
It states that if you zig when others zag, you will stand out from the crowd.
Although she didn’t tell me this, I could infer from her comment about the three other guys that asked her out about the same period I did:
" They all just behave the same: loud and want to show everyone how much money they've got.
I hate it when people show off.
My Dad often tells me that empty vessels make the loudest noise.
That is not the person I want to present as my boyfriend."
Again, calm and well-organized are among the standout qualities that separate the men from the boys as relationship partners.
Being calm and collected or organized shows your level of maturity in life.
And your level of maturity is important as far as ladies are concerned.
It takes a level of maturity to patiently listen and try to understand a lady when she’s talking.
Talking is one of their hobbies, and so they love it when you can patiently listen.
Respect is another.
A boyish partner in a relationship is impulsive. He acts before he thinks, unlike a man who usually rather thinks before he acts.
Who wouldn’t want that kind of guy as a partner?
2. They are responsible
Those were the first few questions my Dad asked my eldest sister about her boyfriend:
“Is he responsible?”
“What about his family? Is he from a responsible home?”
The truth is, every girl wants to make Daddy proud. Bringing a responsible man to the house is one way to fulfill that dream.
So, as much as a lady cares about what she desires in a man, she also considers what her parents would like in her partner.
Because family is very important to a girl child, she will feel more comfortable with a man her parents are also comfortable with: a responsible man who can take care of their daughter.
And there are a few things that show whether or not a man is responsible: your work, appearance, and words.
In a nutshell, a responsible man hails from a responsible family, has a decent job, respects a woman, dresses well, and speaks with courtesy.
3. They have a good reputation.
You have probably heard that a good name is better than riches. It is true.
A few weeks ago my girlfriend came to visit me in school:
" Josh, do you know that before we started dating I have already heard some good things about you?"
She mentioned a few of the cool things she heard about me from persons that I have worked with before I got admission into medical school.
What a lady knows about you from others influences her decision. So if you think a good name doesn’t matter, think again. It matters.
If you were a lady, would you prefer to hang out with a known drug dealer who is super rich or someone who earns a decent income and with a good reputation?
You know the answer.
So how you conduct yourself in public and in your interactions and dealings with others is important.
Your reputation is very important to a lady. Work on it.
4. They smell well, wear clean clothes, and look smart.
Your appearance is a powerful factor that determines your likability quotient in a lady’s psyche. Even from afar.
In case you don’t know yet, a lady’s ego is a dominant part of her.
She wants her friends to envy her for having someone so cute and courteous as a boyfriend. It adds a diamond to her crown.
It tickles her fancy that you come through as polished to the important people in her life. And this includes mostly those in her social cycle: her family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues.
People who don't smell nice, dress shabbily and don't mind what they say are not usually taken seriously. And so she cares so much about appearance in a potential male partner.
Having a good appearance is a must. Every lady fancies it. And it stands you out in her heart.
If you haven’t started, you need to take your oral hygiene seriously. Make sure your clothes are cleaned and well ironed. How you smell is important too. A good perfume can take care of that for you.
If you hit these buttons, you can’t but make her head go gaga even if she doesn’t admit it upfront. But you will see it in how willing she wants to introduce you to her friends, colleagues, and other important people in her social cycle.
Looking good is a serious business. Don’t treat it with levity.
It takes more than money to win a lady's heart.
You need to start out from the crowd with certain irresistible qualities of a gentleman.
These are the things ladies look out for when considering the perfect man that fits into their dream future. A man she will be proud to introduce to her family and friends. A man with whom her marital future is safe.
Be that kind of man!